This season, when so many emotions surge through us, it is comforting to be within a community. That’s part of the grand design, for Jews to be together to usher in the New Year. We collectively hear the shofar’s urgency of now and decide that this year, things will be different….we’ll be different. But one thing is stubbornly the same and I need to write about it.
For those who were not part of a synagogue community last year, has their situation changed? I’ve spoken with many people who don’t connect to the formalized Jewish community and miss the experience of belonging. They were once members, somewhere.
Yet they haven’t received any personal communication to return to the synagogue. Not a letter, not a phone call. I wonder what their experience is of Klal Yisrael and what our obligation is to them? (For the most part, these issues don’t arise for those who identify as Orthodox, as their entire experience of community is different).
Their feelings of being separate must hurt and are in total opposition to the goal of feeling close to G-d and community. The pain they share with me is palpable, but often buried.
Most synagogues don’t have the volunteer power to do outreach. Yet for years, as a communal educator, I have listened to stories of exclusion peppered with harsh memories and I feel helpless. The problem is so overwhelming.
Programs like ‘public space’ Judaism, online workshops, concierge services or outreach spiritual leaders are part of innovative responses to this growing problem of disconnected Jews. But for those who are searching specifically for a re-connection to their synagogue, personal outreach is required. We need to initiate teshuvah by encouraging them to return.
Sometimes the reasons for leaving a community have to do with finances so we need to change the dues structure paradigm by thinking beyond the synagogue. Ultimately, it might cost more to exclude those we are not reaching. If we want individuals to belong to a community, then we need to offer wider access to that community. Right now, our definition of belonging is defined exclusively by which congregation someone belongs to.
For example, my experience is that even if a synagogue event is open to the public, people from neighboring synagogues don’t attend. I’ve witnessed this phenomena multiple times, though I don’t understand the behavior at all. So, how can we make others feel welcome in any synagogue in a given community….without feeling that they don’t belong? Because every Jew in a Jewish community belongs.
A community could establish a communal membership fee, whatever amount works for them, on whatever scale, which would be a way to say ‘you belong’. A person would then be a member of all synagogues in the area. This manageable fee could be an option for people who are new to an area and want to ‘synagogue shop’ for a year or two. Or it could be for those who would like access to a wider range of social programming.since prayer may not be the way they connect to the Jewish community. The fee would also work for those who are already a member of one synagogue but elect to additionally support the Jewish community in this way. There also might be levels of giving to reflect these different needs.
Just imagine, everyone could feel part of the community, with no artificial borders and boundaries.
If some of these discussions occur, then next year, when it comes time for us to think about Teshuvah, we might just agree that the return to an old paradigm is worth a change.
When You Say Jewish Community, Who Are You Talking About?
November 10th, 2021 at 9:27 PM
Thank you for the feedback, much appreciated. This is an older post and I’ll consider updating it to space things out better.
November 10th, 2021 at 12:26 PM
I was curious if you ever thought of changing the page layout of your blog? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having 1 or two images. Maybe you could space it out better?
September 28th, 2015 at 7:58 PM
A communal membership is a wonderful idea Ruth, especially in larger communities. The key for a lot of people is the cost. I think there should be at least one free synagogue in every community, and more than one in larger communities. I am curious how you would charge for a communal membership. I am in the process of finishing a book called Rethinking Judaism and I have a chapter on synagogue memberships, including different models being used today. I would like to include your idea in my book, but I would like more details if you have them.
September 29th, 2015 at 8:58 PM
Hi Martin, thank you for reading and responding to “One New Way to Join The Jewish Community”. It would be important for community leaders to convene, agree on some practical ways to reach out to the unaffiliated, and proceed to develop a fee structure (or any other method) that might work in that particular community, taking into account the cultural norms of the residents. I believe for outreach to be effective, the voices of many stakeholders needs to be heard. Your book sounds interesting. Kol tuv, Ruth
September 30th, 2015 at 1:57 PM
Hi Ruth, I’d like to quote you and your idea in my book. If you want to send me information about who you are (your professional title) and if you want to write something up for me (which I might edit), that would be great. Otherwise I’ll write something up myself from what you’ve already said here. You can email me privately if you want at email@example.com, or you can just do it here. Thanks. Martin
October 30th, 2015 at 3:40 PM
Martin, I responded to your request via your e-mail. Thanks for your interest!
September 22nd, 2015 at 10:46 AM
An important post. Thanks, Ruth! And G’mar Hatimah Tovah!
September 22nd, 2015 at 12:37 PM
Thank you Debbie, best to you and yours this #YomKippur