When Parents Say: “Jewish Education On The Side, Please”

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Some parents are guilty of treating Jewish education like a side dish, something that will never star as the main course and won’t be terribly missed if not around either.

So often choices surrounding Jewish education seem like an afterthought, a rush job, something that’s done while in the middle of doing something else that’s way more important.

Basically, it is chosen as an option only if things work out. Otherwise, well, it’s not really a priority. Pretty harsh, huh?

How can I say such a thing? Just listen to my experience these past few weeks and judge for yourself.  The type of phone calls I’ve received illustrate this, and there were actually more calls than I’m describing.  I am open to hearing from you what your experiences have been.

One parent wanted to discuss her daughter’s enrollment during a prolonged red light.

Another parent called to ask about our program for his daughter, but he was about to board an airplane: “Okay, will rows……..” blared in the background as we were trying to discuss the different course options she’d take.

Another parent happened to breeze by the office at 6:15pm with questions that had to be answered right then because she was already late to go somewhere.

Another parent dropped by with his son to sign him up but could only spend 5 minutes on figuring out what program would be the right fit because he had a pressing work matter to attend to.  Yet  another asked her child to fill out the online application, and was in shock when it required a parent’s sign off (before we went paperless, it amazed me how many students completed the applications themselves).

People are sure busy and I understand the pressure to get so many things done.  Plus, I am appreciative that we’re even part of the rush-job-life these people are juggling. I really am.  I just wonder about the none-too-subtle messages that are given to teens when in general, their Jewish education is treated this way.

So here’s the recommendation: despite every activity that competes with commitments to Jewish education, involvement in Jewish learning is an important goal that is part of life’s meal, not a side dish. (This of course excludes those who have opted for the day school entrée).

Let’s not settle for being that low on the priority list. We want your teen to be part of our program, because we know there is value in participating.

Whatever commitments your family makes, place the proper value on the Jewish education part. Kids quickly get the message that it’s just not all that important to you from your actions, which counts much more than you think.

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About Ruth Schapira

I am a Jewish educator and my hope is to spur new ideas through this blog, perhaps to inspire new conversations and motivate change within the Jewish community. I'm interested in making a difference through training, leadership development, and outreach. View all posts by Ruth Schapira

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